Tuesday, November 29, 2011


I salvaged a few pine boughs from my neighbors live tree the other day and brought them inside. This may seem strange, but it's kind of a test. You see, a few years ago when Bastian was very small we went to my parents for Christmas. He was sick the whole time with a wheezy cough and nose thing that cleared up, amazingly enough, on the drive home. Not just a little but completely. We attributed it, at the time, to him being allergic to the live Christmas tree that they had. We had not yet exposed him to this at the time, he had just turned 1 I believe. So we banned live trees from the house. Now he will be six this Christmas, so I have to look back on it and wonder if that is what it really was. We never had him tested, we just assumed.

So I brought in the pine. So far, he's fine! *laugh* I'm not rushing out to buy a live tree anytime soon, but perhaps next year's tree can be. This year we have a tree, assuming the cats don't kill it! *grin*

Monday, November 28, 2011


No Barnhop today. To be honest I'm just too tired. The weekend was long, but I am proud to report I got that desk torn down and replaced with the much smaller and, to be honest, better looking one. Sandy (my neighbor friend) also gave me a large bulletin board to place behind it and it really looks great. Will likely only look great until I manage to clutter it all up, but still! *laugh*

Anyway. Much to do today. Have to get milk from the market, do the dishes, clean a cluttered bookcase and likely fix the tree again. All before 11 am. Plus, Bastian's back to school today, so I have to pick him up at 2:25. He was up late last night and will likely be a big cranky-pants all afternoon. How thrilling for me.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Cats and Christmas... trees, that is...

So we put up the Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving. It's just a little fake one we've had a couple years and none too fancy. In need of a good replacing, to be honest, but I think it may keep one more year. Unless, of course, the cats slaughter it early. Which it seems they are trying to do regularly.

We placed all the crochet ornaments and a few leftover ornaments from past years on it and left it lit the first night. It looked so pretty... Until yesterday when it became the cats new favorite toy. The game now is to dash at the tree and attempt to snag a crochet ornament and make off with it. The round ones are the best. It's my fault for making them cat toy sized. I think they probably have even developed a point system. *laugh* At any rate they've knocked the tree over quite a few times in the last two days. I figure this will peter out a bit. I've made a few quick cat toys out of scrap yarn for them and added catnip to them so they would be more tempting. Putting them under the tree seems to distract them from the dangling ornaments.. at least, a little. Silly kitties.

If you can't tell... we like reindeer here. *laugh* Bastian helped with the decorating so some of the balls are clumped, but he was very happy with it. Amazingly enough I found a "leftover" gift from last year up in the top of the closet. It was all wrapped and everything, so it will be a surprise on Christmas to find out what it is.  It's in Bastian's wrapping paper, it must be a DVD or game. 

We have color coded wrapping paper here. I am not sure if it's an OCD thing, or just a quirk.... makes passing out the presents easier. At least, the presents from each other.

Saturday, November 26, 2011


I mailed four Christmas cards this morning. My parents, my brother in college, my Grandma Carol and my birth father. I could only do close family this year, but I am happy I sent out those. I also sent pictures of Bastian in two of the cards so Grandma and my father can see how big he's getting. Mom and Dad already have a large copy and my brother lives in the dorms, so I put something different in his card. Nothing special or expensive, but I hope he likes it anyway.

I have the gifts all wrapped and ready for shipping. I have to find out how much that's going to be. If I'm lucky I can get them all inside one of those $8 boxes. They still have those, right? Then maybe I can ask Mom to give my father and Grandma Carol their gifts. They all live in the same area now.

I do miss Missouri... Sometimes I think, well, I know I want to move back there. But I need to do it on my terms. I want to move there when I can afford a place, even if it doesn't have land. On my own two feet, with money in my pocket. Who knows when that will be, it certainly seems a long way away now. Still, it's like the dream of the farm. I know I can't have it all now, but I can move towards it inch by inch and one day I'll be there. Land and bees and chickens and all.... *laugh*

Friday, November 25, 2011

Black Friday....

So Bastian asked me this morning if we could go to the store and get doughnuts. I tried to explain to him that we couldn't go out because it's the day after Thanksgiving.
"Sorry, Bastian, we can't go out. We never go out the day after Thanksgiving, it's too scary."
"Scary? Why is it scary?"
"Because the crazy people come out to shop and you don't want to get in their way."
"Oh... like Zombies?"

I'm sure he will come to learn in the future. I went on to explain that they weren't zombies, they just were people who buy all the things you want to buy and make long lines at the store. He said it was unfair, he just wanted doughnuts. I told him they had probably bought all the doughnuts already... I promised him we would go tomorrow. Much less dangerous, though not by much.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Happy Turkey Day

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone out there. Hope your day is as blessed as mine. It may not be perfect, but there is always something to be thankful for. *hugs to all*

Tuesday, November 22, 2011


I can't believe it's only Tuesday. It feels like this week is seriously dragging it's feet.

Maybe it's just because I'm so excited for Thanksgiving to be over so we can put up the tree and delve into Christmas specials and sing carols. I pulled out the box of Christmas leftovers from last year and spent an hour attempting to untangle the light strands. I managed a few, though they look pretty battered. Next year will be a throw them away and buy new ones year. I was surprised at how many ornaments we had leftover. We had a "theme tree" last year and all the little brown sparkly reindeer were salvaged. Most the balls had been killed by the cat while on the tree, but a few remained. I went ahead and set them aside for use. I know they won't survive this season. Kephri is a real killer when it comes to things that dangle and sparkle. *laugh*

The rest of the agenda today calls for a thorough cleaning of the kitchen and taking out the trash. I don't really like taking the trash out because the bin is pretty far from our apartment. That was always my ex's job. Also plan to clean off my desk and tear it down to finally replace with the little one. (I know I keep mentioning this and it never happens... it wasn't really a priority)

Monday, November 21, 2011

Fluffy Cake

As promised the cake recipe and the icing as well. This cake is very odd, no butter, no eggs, no milk.... Good if you are running short on any of those items, or if you just don't have them at all. It comes out much fluffier than you would think. It's been a huge hit here. I have been told it tastes like those Little Debbie or Hostess Cupcakes.

Super Fluffy Chocolate Cake


3 cups all-purpose flour
2 cups white sugar
1 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoons baking soda
1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
3/4 cup vegetable oil
2 tablespoons distilled white vinegar
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
2 cups cold water


Sift flour, sugar, salt, soda, and cocoa together into a 9 x 13 inch ungreased cake pan. Make three wells. Pour oil into one well, vinegar into second, and vanilla into third well. Pour cold water over all, and stir well with fork.
     (This is how the recipe says to do it, but I just mixed all the wet in one bowl and all the dry in another and then combined like I would any other cake, later pouring it into the cake pan. It came out fine. Word of warning: there will be fizzing with the soda/vinegar reaction but your cake will not explode, I promise. *laugh*)

Bake at 350 degrees for 30 to 40 minutes, or until tooth pick inserted comes out clean. Frost with your favorite icing.
Buttercream Icing 


2 cups sifted confectioners' sugar
1/2 cup butter
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 tablespoons milk
2 tablespoons cocoa powder (optional)


Cream sugar, butter and vanilla. Add a small amount of milk (1 to 2 tablespoons). Add cocoa if desired and beat until fluffy. If frosting is too sweet add a little more milk. 
 I often fiddle with this to get the desired consistency. Once you have the base finished you can add more milk to make it more of a glaze, or add more powdered sugar to stiffen it up. I use this on everything from cake to sugar cookies. I bet it would even glaze doughnuts. 

Sunday, November 20, 2011


It has been very loud here for the past two days. Bastian is very excited about not having school for a week and has been celebrating by running around singing, cheering, and playing rather loudly. Often at the top of his lungs. I chastise or reprimand and he will turn it down for about half an hour and then the level ramps up again to full blown. I've told him he can be as loud as he wants... in his room. But if he's out here he has to be shusheded! *laugh*

Tomorrow I'm going to post my recipe for this crazy chocolate cake. It has no eggs, no milk and no butter in it! I was certain it would come out all nasty, but it was amazingly fluffy and tasted great. I also want to post my very adjustable buttercream recipe. I promised some followers I would. I like it because you can make it very thin for drizzling or much thicker for icing or piping. All by adding either more milk or more powdered sugar to the finished recipe.

When I made the two together last week and iced the crazy cake with the stiffer buttercream I found it tasted a LOT like the Hostess Cupcakes. I think it I make them again I may do a cupcake batch and fill the centers with the icing, just to see.

As for Thanksgiving, I think we may just end up having cranberry pancakes and calling it good this year. I know next year this will all have passed and life will be better. We can do a turkey then. I am still a bit depressed about it, but I know it isn't the end of the world.

Friday, November 18, 2011

A Whole Week!

Today is the last day of school for Bastian for a whole week. The school district he attends has two furlough days and then three holiday days next week... so I should be quite tired by this time next Friday! *laugh*

Plans had been made to drive to Missouri and visit my family, but with the truck in the state it's in and the serious lack of money for purposes such as traveling I am fairly sure that isn't going to happen. I have no way to afford the gas, dog boarding, food along the way, etc. Even were we to fly there I can't afford the tickets, dog boarding, cab to the airport, cab back to the house, etc. *sigh* I told myself it was ok, that there will be other holidays, there will be other trips. I was really looking forward to this one though. It's been three years since I've seen my family and I miss them. I've had this trip planned since August. I was even saving up for it. Darn you life, for getting in the way like this! *shakes fist at the world*

Anyhow, I suppose now the plan is for a nice and quiet week at home. I think we have stuffing, canned cranberry sauce, gravy and green beans. No turkey, though. I wasn't anticipating needing one. Maybe I can get one the day after Thanksgiving when they go on sale and our Turkeyday can just be one day off.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Early Days

Seems like I get up earlier and earlier lately. *yawn* Next week I'll be able to sleep in a bit though. Bastian's school is out for Thanksgiving all week. Have lots to do today, again. I wanted to post a picture of my newest crochet creation. I can't until I get a new battery for the camera, though. AA's but there don't seem to be any in the house. *sigh* Never when you need it, right....

Two mile walk today, followed by picking up a package at the office and a few other errands. Walking for all of them of course, stupid truck. The battery is completely dead. I tried restarting it yesterday on a whim. It won't even try turning over, just makes a sad clicking noise. Thank goodness (and I will not say this often) that we live in the center of town and the shopping center is right there.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Fall Reorganizing

Have been rearranging the house the last week or so, as I've written a post or two about. I think Falcore really likes all the space in the living room now. He can sprawl easier. I like that I have my entire sectional couch back together and an area to workout in. Now if I can just finish up the last of the tidying I will be good to go. It's been like Spring cleaning in the worng season around here. The whirlwind of moving crud from one room to another stirred up even more debris. I'm making serious inroads though. I have thrown out so much stuff! (Which is very hard for me, I am a pack rat!) The last thing I have to do is clear off this huge desk and get it out to the trash. I know I mentioned this Sunday, but I still haven't gotten to it. I was too sore yesterday from Monday's workout. Today is much better, I think that two miles really stretched out some kinks.

Also, have to head across the street to the Office Max and fax a financial aide form. So much to do, never enough hours in the day!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011


I took some time to just enjoy the day today. I walked Bastian to school as usual, but instead of coming back home I took the "scenic route." Down through the neighborhood, which is very nice and then up and around the long way to get back. I Map-quested the route when I got home. It was 1.95 miles. I rounded up to 2.I felt very accomplished. I will say I am glad I didn't know ahead of time it was 2 miles or I may not have done it. Self doubt can be a very powerful thing.

On the agenda today is a general tidying. Followed by some rigorous vacuuming. Finished up by a scrubbing of the bathroom. Overall a busy day, but one I can be proud of. I like my days to be that way. Relaxation is nice, but hard work is rewarding as well.

Monday, November 14, 2011

JackApple Cake

I made this last week and posted a picture of the finished cake. I thought I'd post the recipe now, and the cake again, for those who wanted to try it. It came out thick and sticky for me, very dense but good. If I were to make it again I would add much more apple,maybe in bigger chunks as well. I diced them pretty small.

Jackapple cake
(from Jenna at ColdAntler Farm)

3 large farm eggs
2 ¾ cup flour
3 large apples (Not Red Delicious!)
¼ cup fresh press cider
2 cups sugar
¼ cup honey, heated
1 stick butter (half melted)
1 ¾ cup vegetable oil
Tablespoon vanilla extract
Tablespoon baking powder

Peel and dice apples and place in a large bowl with 1 ½ cups sugar (set aside other half cup for topping), sprinkle over them a light coating of cinnamon, and mix into a cobbler, then dribble warm honey over and mix that in as well. Set in fridge for 2 hours to let cure. (Do not skip this step.)

When apples are cured, add all wet ingredients (half melted stick off butter, eggs, oil, extract) and mix with large wooden spoon.

Add in tablespoon baking powder.

Add flour half a cup at a time and stir in batter more than you think you need too. Batter will seem wet and yellow. Good.

Pour into greased cake pan.

Now melt other half stick of butter, add to it the sugar and some cinnamon and mix them into a wet paste. Drizzle over the batter, spreading it if you can, making a sugar crust to bake into the cake.

Bake at 350 degrees 30-40 minutes. Check after 27, when knife comes out clean it’s done.

I made a basic buttercream icing to go on top. It was very sweet as well, but I think it paired nicely overall.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Kitchen Overhaul

The last few days have been spent rearranging my living room and Bastian's room. Those two rooms look great now, but my kitchen suffered from neglect while the "renovations" happened. So today will be a kitchen day. I'm dragging my heels a bit over it, because I dislike dishes so much... which anyone who has read even a handful of posts here probably knows! I'm not shy about it!! *laugh*

After the kitchen shapes up I also plan to re organize my desk area. I need to remove the current huge desk I have and plan to replace it with a much smaller one my neighbor is looking to get rid of. She needs the space and I need it to make a smaller space. It's a win win! She is so kind to give it to me. It's no secret things are tight around here. She is also giving me a medium sized cabinet they were going to throw out, which I plan to use as a pantry. There isn't a lot of shelf space around here and it will be good to have. Will free up some other spaces in the kitchen. With the removal of this huge desk the little desk and the pantry will fit just perfectly. So I guess I'm not really making any space, but in a way I am. The pantry unit will allow for more space in other areas and won't stick out as far as the desk, so there will be a more open walkway into the living area. *sigh*

I figure by Wednesday there will be time to just breath, when all of this is completed. Until then I guess I should get back to scrubbing something.... *oh joy*

Saturday, November 12, 2011


On an unrelated to farming, homesteading or crafting subject: I received my financial aide award letter for the Spring and Summer 2012 season. I will officially receive $2,770 per semester and that will cover all my school costs. So I am essentially attending college for free! I am very excited. I have some college under my belt, but I'm tired of checking the "Some College" box on applications and forms. I want my degree! Any degree! *laugh* The current plan is to attend Pikes Peak Community College in the Spring and though it's a far cry from my plans when I was 20 (hey, ten years changes a person!) I want to pursue a degree in Baking and Pastry.

The last year I've been doing a lot more home baking and I want to learn more. I really want to learn cake decorating. I've always been interested but never took that step. Except for some clumsily iced birthday cakes. I want to learn to use fondant and make pretty things. If I have a talent maybe I can even do wedding cakes. I think wedding cakes from organic produce using farm fresh eggs and real cow or goat milk and butter and cream would be amazing. And there is a market for these things now with the sustainability movement and the rush for organic and locally produced items.

See, I managed to tie it back in to the future farm. *grin*

I'm a Pikes Peak Aardvark!

Thursday, November 10, 2011


"Barnheart is that sudden overcast feeling that hits you while at work or in the middle of the grocery store checkout line. It’s unequivocally knowing you want to be a farmer—and for whatever personal circumstances—cannot be one just yet. So there you are, heartsick and confused in the passing lane, wondering why you cannot stop thinking about heritage livestock and electric fences. Do not be afraid. You have what I have. You are not alone.

You are suffering from Barnheart
." - Jenna Woginrich

*huge sigh*

Crochet Pony

I have been working on this all week. Not very diligently, usually just in the evening while I watch television. It came out very well and I'm proud of it. It's the first large crochet critter project I have ever done. The size of a regular stuffed animal. Most my other work is smaller. So I was a bit leery of the size, but it turned out ok. I think it's super cute. I don't particularly care for the button eyes. They make it look very Raggedy Ann and Andy. If I do another I will probably embroider instead, or buy actual stuffed animal eyes to sew on.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011


I took pictures of my cookies and of that cake I told you about yesterday. The cake actually came out very dense, more like a pumpkin bread would be. It is very tasty but super sweet and heavy. Which means it will go farther since you can really only have a small piece at a time before getting a sugar shock. I think it has to do with how much honey is in it. Maybe. I don't know. I may fool around with it in the coming months to try to get it lighter. I want more of a fluff to the cake. I thought the batter was rather heavy when I made it and it tasted more like muffin batter than cake, but since it was a first time recipe I wasn't really sure what to expect. Anyway, it still came out very yummy.

After and Before

Leaf Pile!

Cake! With delicious icing...

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Cake... and cookies...

Last night I made a small batch of sugar cookies and today I plan to ice them prettily. I made them because I got this nifty cookie cutter that looks like a maple leaf. So I can do fall colored cookies. I'm very happy with the shape and will post pictures as soon as I get them all nice and pretty.

I am also making a Jackapple Cake. Using a recipe from Jenna at ColdAntler Farm. I have never made this cake before so I am excited to see it finished. The apples are currently marinating in a honey, sugar and cinnamon mix. In a few hours I'll be able to make the rest of the batter and bake up some golden goodness.

I have a feeling any man who gets with me is likely to fatten up very quickly unless they are crazy about fitness. Or have a metabolism I will be terribly jealous of! Ah, well... considering the size of the universe and how spectacularly little we matter in the "grand scheme of things" I don't imagine putting on half a pound from cake or cookies will matter too very much.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Pretzel Rolls

I love pretzels. I love mall pretzels, stick pretzels, mini pretzels, sourdough pretzels, pretty much any pretzel you can think of except the jalapeno kind. I can't have those and wouldn't want to anyway. I have shared my mall pretzel recipe in the past, but I'm always on the hunt for new deliciousness. Therefore, when I stumbled onto Bob Vivant's page the other day I knew I would have to make and then share this recipe for pretzel rolls. She whipped hers up for a party her friend was throwing to use for burgers, but I made mine smaller. A little larger than doughnut holes, for easy snacking and dipping. Bob has an amazing blog page with some amazing recipes. All sorts of cakes and desserts and ... general yumminesses!

Since it is Barn Hop day I will share the recipe. Mondays are the best!

Add caption

 Mini Pretzel Rolls


4 cups all-purpose flour
2 1/4 teaspoons instant dry yeast (or one 0.25oz packet)
1/3 cup light brown sugar
1 1/3 cups warm water
2 tablespoons milk
2 tablespoons butter, melted
2 quarts water
1/2 cup baking soda
coarse sea salt


  1. Combine the flour, yeast, and brown sugar in the bowl of a standing electric mixer fitted with a dough hook. In a small bowl stir together the warm water, milk, and melted butter.
  2. Add the wet ingredients to the dry. Mix on low speed for 3 minutes once the ingredients have come together in a ball. The dough should be soft and pliable and not sticky. Add more flour or water as needed. (You can make the dough without a mixer. Once the dough comes together, transfer it to a floured board and knead for 5-7 minutes, until smooth and elastic.)
  3. Using a scale, portion the dough into even pieces and set them on a floured board. A 2.5 ounce portion works for a traditional burger bun. For sliders you’ll want 1.25-1.5 ounce dough ball. Cover dough with oiled plastic wrap and let rest for 10 minutes. ( I didn't do this weighing thing, I just eyeballed and portioned. I would do this, though if I were trying to make uniform sized rolls.)
  4. Shape the dough balls into rolls. Arrange them on a lightly floured surface 1-inch apart and cover with oiled plastic wrap. Let the rolls rise in a warm place for 30 minutes.
  5. Preheat the oven to 425°F. Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper or silicon baking mats.
  6. In a large stockpot, bring the cold water and baking soda to a rolling boil.
  7. Drop the rolls into the boiling water 2 at a time. Boil for 20 seconds total, turning once. Carefully remove with a slotted spoon and place on the prepared baking sheets. Sprinkle lightly with the coarse salt. Repeat with the remaining rolls.
  8. Make a ½-inch deep slash across the top of each roll with a small, sharp knife. Bake for 8-10 minutes, until the tops are the color of dark caramel (or, uhm, until they look like pretzels). Shift pans from top to bottom and back to front halfway through for even baking.
  9. Let rolls cool on the baking sheets for 5 minutes, and then transfer to a wire rack.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Sunday Doldrums

Very tired today. I'm not sure why. I have spent the last few days cleaning and rearranging things, so perhaps that could be part of it. I put up a few decorations and fancy things on the the walls in the bedroom. It's pretty much finished. I'd like to get a different floor rug, but other than that it's as good as it's likely to get in this tiny apartment. Next is Bastian's room and the living room, which have to be done at the same time, since Bastian has a piece of the sectional couch in his room and I want to move it to the living area. Have to rearrange both rooms at the same time to make that happen.

Tomorrow is soon enough for that, I suppose. It is also likely to snow tomorrow night. Which I would look forward to, except for the fact that the truck doesn't work and we have to walk to school! Ah, well.

Friday, November 4, 2011

Cookies... and Egg Nog!

It's egg nog season! Hooray. I bought some at the grocery yesterday and made some very yummy crispy oatmeal chocolate chip cookies to dunk in it. They go very well together and are super scrumptious. Other than that I'm taking it relatively easy. Tomorrow is the weekend and one day closer to Thanksgiving, Christmas and the New Year.

I have been slowly crocheting more ornaments. Sometimes I have to do two versions because the original patterns are too big. Then I alter the pattern or use a smaller hook to get it ornament sized. Tricky with some things, but worth it.

The truck is still dead.. in fact it may be deader than it was. I am almost 100% sure it's the alternator. The car won't hold a charge at all now. Lucky we have such nice weather so I can walk to drop off and pick up Bastian from school. I saw on the weather we are due for more nastiness next week though. *sigh* I love the winter weather, but I don't love having to be out in it!! I prefer it through the window with a blanket and hot cocoa!

Thursday, November 3, 2011


Well, yesterday my truck died a little. I say a little because she started running again after recharging her battery, but there's still an issue. We've been told by many people and a few mechanics so many different things. One said it was just the cold, one said it was the alternator, one said maybe just a wire on the alternator, one said it was just a loose grounding wire. We fixed the grounding wire and it seemed to be running fine. Until this morning when my ex-husband borrowed it to go to work. Then it apparently died again and again had to be jumped. Now it is again running ok, which leads me to believe the alternator is not completely dead and maybe it is just the charging wire.... I don't exactly have the who knows how many hundreds of dollars it will take to get it looked at and fixed. I think it will come down to just waiting. Waiting until I get a job (close by) or my husband sends the first few alimony/child support checks. It's frustrating, but so is life in general most the time.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011


Snow again today... and a two hour delay for the schools. Which means arguing with Bastian about leaving now as opposed to waiting until there are actually people at the school. *sigh* He doesn't understand weather days, delays and cancellations yet. He will come to appreciate and look forward to them someday though!

Thought I would post a few crochet ornaments I've done this week. Had to get a jump start on them now to make enough for the tree this year. I'm hoping to only have to buy lights and maybe a topper. Though I may crochet a star for the top, I haven't decided.

A Jalepeno.

A Heart.

A Sombrero... goes with the jalapeno!

A Key.


A slightly ugly frog. His back is bumpy but you can't really tell in the picture.
The jalapeno was not intended to be a jalapeno at first. It was supposed to be a trial Christmas bulb, but the pattern was hard to read and it came out a little wonky. So I bent the tip a bit and called it a pepper. *laugh* Then of course I found the sombrero online, it was originally intended to be a bottle topper, but add a hanger and it makes a great ornament!  The others I found on a website for refrigerator magnet patterns. They were the perfect size to become ornaments.

I didn't want to just do the standard red, green and white ornaments with stars or candy canes. I will do those as well, but I wanted a variety. My family tree growing up always had such interesting ornaments. Yes, many were x-mas related, but some were odd and out of place. So I want that kind of feel for my tree this year. I do plan to do reindeer and snowmen and Santas and the little ball ornaments as well... I have the patterns, just need to whip them up. This will be a good holiday season, I can tell.